15 Life Lessons You Should Learn for Not Being a Loser

by roshi on June 1, 2009

in Self Development

loserYou are good. You know that. You think and try to find best in others. You like to respect others and in return want to get the same response back. You do not speak ill of others but still people do not think high of you. You get hurt many times a day. You feel alone sometimes. You feel betrayed sometimes. You might have asked some questions from yourself many times: “Why it is always me?” – “Why it is always with me?” – “What’s wrong with the world?” You know you can get your dreams, but you are not still there. You want people to give you respect and importance and understand you as you do for them. But they do not. Find out what might be wrong…Here are some steps which can be helpful for you towards living a better life or at least give you some idea:

1- Nothing Is Impossible

Let’s face it: If I can do blogging to my full content at the same time while doing a good day job, we as human beings are capable of just about anything.

2- You Should Never Ask “Why Me” Instead, Ask “Why NOT Me?”

Society and sometimes even our own friends and family members say that you are arrogant and selfish if you want to be anything beyond the normal. Strive to become healthier or richer or more successful than average and it becomes a “Who do you think you are?” scenario. The next time you feel less-than or undeserving of making a healthy change, ask yourself that question: Why not you? Stop asking “Why me?” and ask this question: “Why not me?” Why not me get gorgeous, healthy and famous? Why not me fall in love? Why not me have the career of my dreams? And here is the best part: by putting yourself first for once, you will change your life, achieve their goals and inspire a nation. So, the next time you feel less-than or undeserving of making a healthy change, ask yourself that question: Why not you?

3- You Must Choose To Be Happy

Life will not always be easy. You won’t always be happy. Things will go wrong that are unfair and totally out of your control, but you have a choice. You can choose to become a victim of these unfortunate events or you can choose to learn from them and grow. Grow and be happy always. Enjoy the bright side of the situation.

4- Change Your Attitude

If you are a pessimistic person, people will surely dislike you. People like to see bright aspect of everything. They do not like the dark side or hard facts. They believe these hard facts too but the fact is they are just afraid of speaking it aloud. They won’t hear that either. For example; Everybody accepts that the money is the first need to survive happily. They won’t like it to hear you say that. They admit this by heart though but they will say that the money is really the secondary need. Do not show people the dark side. Show them the light side of everything which they can accept easily.

5- Do Not Speak of it, Until You Get it

Achievements should be made in silence. Do not share your dreams with others until they have come true. There might be some people who might have been trying to achieve the same goals. If they are not there yet, they will tease and discourage you. If a person is unable to achieve a goal, how can he advising you that you will get there.

6- Do not be too Straightforward

Straightforwardness is good but really sometimes and at some places. This formula works not for every occasion. If you like too speak aloud and bold then probably it would be the fact that you are a bit proud about yourself too. People who talk too much straight, often are remembered as arrogant, doesn’t matter how truthful they are. Its the feeling you generate is important, not the bluntness. People accept poisoned honey easily than bitter pill which can actually cure.

7- Forgive and Forget more

Forgive others. Do it more often. You gonna need it more often anyways. Everybody has goals which he is trying to focus on. Everybody has a direction which he likes to follow. Others are unaware of your interests or these are not interesting for them. In case of juniors, forgive them everything they do. They won’t do anything harmful usually. That little mistake is worth forgiving and better than your anger which can create a permanent distance between you and others. Communicate. Ask them why? They will come up with their excuse. Accept that. Show them what you were expecting and leave them to their state. Give them a bit of a time and space. Forget others mistakes. Even if you have forgiven others, you will have to forget about it. If something keeps hovering in your mind, it will be disturbing and distracting. It will gain focus with the passage of time. Do not let it take you. Just forget the little issues and incidents. Ignore small misunderstandings and discouragements.

8- Look at Yourself With Your Own Eyes

Have you ever taunted by other? Did others ever passed discouraging remarks about you? A usual example is “You can not do this. You haven’t done it yet, you would not be able to do that!” Your companions, family, friends see you by your past. Past is such a thing you need to ignore. Sometimes they bring back your past to you again and again to show you. Ignore it. Ignore them. Do not even try to explain your past. Focus on your direction. Leave your past permanently behind you. I mean its already gone! right? If you will listen to your past, it will haunt you and if you are unsuccessful then you will think that you have not been able to be successful and you won’t be in future. Take your Past, Present and Future as three states; three levelsl; three chambers. Do not let confuse your present with the past. Do not judge yourself by what others have to say. You can see yourself best.

9- Empty Past Chambers of Memories, Make your Past empty

Your past can help you teach. Learn from that and make a habit to not repeat what gone wrong in the past. One at a time. Focus on single thing which did not go well in the past. Suggest remedy, implement the change and stick to your modified state in the present. When you achieve something better or which could not be achieved, terminate that past memory. Make yourself realize and believe that I was just like it from the beginning. If you are a smoker. You smoked in the past. Try to figure out some solution, stick to it, until it works and you leave smoking. Now make yourself believe that you were never a smoker. When you will be able to make you realize that you haven’t been smoking, your will quit this habit forever and accept the better change.

10- Do not Tell Anybody Anything Until They Need it

People take you for granted if you are too friendly. Keep a distance. Remain detached. Go close to somebody when he/she really needs it. People just can not understand that why somebody is being so close. They want everything to be logical. Many times you will see that you can share something or tell somebody something which can help them but they are not in the state to accept that help. If your good nature tells you that you should approach and help, then wait for a while. Unless he/she does not feel a need to know something, why should you communicate that to them? They will not understand your kindness. Do not wait long though if there is a risk for some loss. Approach them when they need to get help and you feel it.

11- Show Some Attitude

People pretend a lot. It their nature and second habit to do so to gain some respect. Everybody deserves respect. If you give yourself respect, then people give you respect. If you do not know about your needs, then how people will recognize these for you. Make other people realize that your time is as important as theirs. You are as important as they are. Do not be too much reserved. Just act when there is need. Keep a balance. Even in closest relationships, sometimes you need to hold back a bit.

12- Keep Some Secrets

Being an open book will not reward you as the truthful person in the world. In fact the more mysterious you are, the more people will be interested in you. Do not get me wrong here but do not share every single thing about you to everybody. Secrets are for just soul mates.

13- Do not Question Much

Some people are just curious. When they talk they begin with a question. If you question people too much, they will take you as an ignorant person. Question yourself. Sometimes answer comes as easily as you question from inside. Try to catch up with your inner-self. Believe me there is an inner voice. Do not get me wrong here either. I am not talking about hearing voices. I am talking about knowing yourself.

14- Do not Insist

Do not insist. They won’t do what you are saying. If they do, at some point they will cease doing it. Make them realize your point of view and listen to them. They will most usually oppose your point of view. Accept it, be silent and wait until they know the fact and feel need to do exactly what you said them to do. If this situation never comes either, then just forget it. It doesn’t matter really.

15- Do not Expect

Do not ever expect anything from others. Just keep good hopes but do not expect. Expectations hurt always. It is just that people do not see from the point where you are looking at some particular aspect of anything. Keep faith in yourself, not in others. There is always an alternative.

Grow and know yourself best. Live as you want to live. Enjoy your life. Give others respect and importance. Make them realize that you are importance and need respect. Everybody is important here and everybody needs some respect. Love too.

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