Before And After The Wedding

by roshi on October 31, 2007

in Jokes

Let’s have a comparison of a couple’s life before and after marriage. What they say before marriage and what that changes into after marriage. Of course this doesn’t apply to every married couple.

  • Before – You take my breath away.
    After – I feel like I’m suffocating.
  • Before – Twice a night.
    After – Twice a month.
  • Before – She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.
    After – She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
  • Before – Saturday Night Fever.
    After – Monday Night Football.
  • Before – Don’t stop.
    After – Don’t start.
  • Before – Is that all you’re having?
    After – Maybe you should have just a salad, honey.
  • Before – It’s like I’m living in a dream.
    After – It’s like he lives in a dorm.
  • Before – $60/dozen.
    After – $1.50/stem.
  • Before – Turbocharged.
    After – Jump-start.
  • Before – We agree on everything.
    After – We can’t agree on anything.
  • Before – Victoria’s Secret.
    After – Fruit-of-the-Loom.
  • Before – Idol.
    After – Idle.
  • Before – He’s completely lost without me.
    After – Why won’t he ever ask for directions?
  • Before – Time stood still.
    After – Where did the time go?
  • Before – Croissant and cappuccino.
    After – Bagel and instant.
  • Before – I can hardly believe we found each other.
    After – I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you.
  • Before – Passion.
    After – Ration.

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