Geek’s Definition
A carnival (fair) performer who does disgusting acts.
A person with an unusual or odd personality.
A knowledgeable and obsessive computer enthusiast.
Do you qualify as a computer geek? Following are some points. Not all apply to all geeks.
- Geek’s Environment
Does your room’s major part possesses a specific section for computer and accessories?
Is your room most of the time messy? Computer CDs, Magazines and PC stuff scattered all over around?
Wallpapers in room represents Tech theme?
Anybody can look at your room and can tell that you are a computer lover?
Is PC near your bed?
- Geek’s Conversation
Is your conversation style is Tech lingo?
Do you say LOL instead of having a laugh most of the time?
Do you recommend or refer to online things, downloads and stuff most of the time to others during conversation?
When infront of PC, you talk without loosing your gaze from PC.
- Geek’s Social Life
Is your social life limited?
Do you meet your relatives rarely?
If you go to your relatives you use their computer?
- Geek’s PC Life
Is your computer most of the time on? Irrespective of the fact that you are using it or not.
Do you have extra PC accessories, Extra Rams, CD Roms, Hard Disks, USB Flash Drives etc.
Does your computer remain up-to-date with latest softwares, hardware, OS?
Do you have lots of wallpapers/icons/themes collection in your PC.
Do you have lots of links about online resources and websites.
Do you put head phones on while working at PC?
Do you search for tutorials and resources most of the time?
Do tea or coffee turn you on while your are working at your PC with it?
Do you join communities and visit some of them regularly?
Does your messenger contains mostly computer guys emails instead of girls?
Do you comment a lot in blogs, forums, communities?
Do you have a website which you visit and update regularly?
Do you love computer tips and tricks?
Do you like to tweak your computer settings and stuff?
Do you use short keys mostly instead of mouse?
Have your PC lots of softwares installed?
Whether your computer is at totally classic theme and options or your computer is loaded with rich graphics and advanced navigations and stuff?
You don’t know about all the files in your PC? I mean you copy data a lot and randomly and don’t find time to sort these.
- Geek’s Personal Life
Limited to computer? Even you ignore sometimes other daily stuff to do.
Do many of your daily tasks remain as these are because you don’t get time to accomplish them due to excessive computer usage?
Your family, friends or relatives consider you always infront of your PC. When somebody wants to find you; He thinks that you will be with your PC.
Do you take dinner, lunch or breakfast infront of PC.
Do you chat and email a lot?
Do you have blogs/websites?
Do you enjoy when you are infront of your PC even you are not doing anything?
Do you suffer from sleep disorder?
Do you remain awake till late at night infront of your computer.
You are not careful towards your dress, if you are far from your family? (I mean while with family, someone can get the things ready for you. Real test is when you are little far from family and have to do stuff by yourself.)
Do you carry a USB Flash Drive most of the time?
If some of above qualities apply to you then you are a computer geek for sure.
Here’s some REAL COMPUTER PROBLEMS COMPLAINTS heard by various computer technicians.
This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
- Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
- AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
- Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the “Send” key.
- Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
- A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and an invalid.” The tech explained that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.
- A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it “couldn’t find printer.” The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.
- An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.”The foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.
- Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, “What power switch?”
- Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and ran for support “I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn’t even fit it in…” The user hadn’t realized that “Insert Disk 2 meant to remove Disk 1 first.
- A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under “Windows.” The woman responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.
Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott
Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name’s Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott: Recommend something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.
Costello: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
Abbott: Of course.
Costello: Great! With what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
Abbott: You click the blue “1″.
Costello: I click the blue one what?
Abbott: The blue “1″.
Costello: Is that different from the blue w?
Abbott: The blue “1″ is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there’s three words in “office for windows”!
Abbott: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.
Costello: It is?
Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Costello: And that word is real one?
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.
Costello: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: That’s right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer
Costello: What’s bundled with my computer?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: One copy.
Costello: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . . .
Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Abbott: Click on “START”……….
Apple Computers
It was the favourite fruit of founder Steve Jobs. He was three months late in filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computers if the other colleagues didn’t suggest a better name by 5 O’clock.
CISCO
It is not an acronym as popularly believed. It is short for San Francisco.
Compaq
This name was formed by using COMp, for computer, and PAQ to denote a small integral object.
Corel
The name was derived from the founder’s name Dr.Michael Cowpland. It stands for COwpland REsearch Laboratory.
Google
The name started as a joke boasting about the amount of information the search-engine would be able to search. It was originally named ‘Googol’, a word for the number represented by 1 followed by 100 zeros.After founders - Stanford graduate students Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor, they received a cheque made out to ‘Google’
Hotmail
Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing e-mail via the web from a computer anywhere in the world.When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in ‘mail’ and finally settled for hotmail as it included the letters “html” - the programming language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective uppercasing.
Hewlett Packard
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
Intel
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company ‘Moore Noyce’ but that was already trademarked by a hotel chain so they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics.
Lotus (Notes)
Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from ‘The Lotus Position’ or ‘Padmasana’. Kapor used to be a teacher of Transcendental Meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
Microsoft
Coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the ‘-’ was removed later on.
Motorola
Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company started manufacturing radios for cars. The popular radio company at the time was called Victrola.
ORACLE
Larry Ellison and Bob Oats were working on a consulting project for the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency). The code name for the project was called Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or something such). The project was designed to help use the newly written SQL code by IBM. The project eventually was terminated but Larry and Bob decided to finish what they started and bring it to the world. They kept the name Oracle and created the RDBMS engine. Later they kept the same name for the company.
Sony
It originated from the Latin word ’sonus’ meaning sound, and ’sonny’ a slang used by Americans to refer to a bright youngster.
SUN
Founded by 4 Stanford University buddies, SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network. Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer; Vinod Khosla recruited him and Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it, and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer.
Yahoo!
The word was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book ‘Gulliver’s Travels’. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and action and is barely human. Yahoo! Founders Jerry Yang and David Filo selected the name because they considered themselves yahoos
