Dictionary of Funny Definitions

by roshi on July 6, 2007

in Jokes

Here is a modern dictionary which has modified definitions about some common stuff and situations.

Cigarette

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with Fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Etc.

A sign to make others believe, you know more Than you actually do.

Love affairs

Something like cricket where one-day Internationals are more popular than a five day test…

Marriage

It’s an agreement in which a man loses his Bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Divorce

Future tense of marriage

Smile

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Optimist

A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist

A person who says that O is the last Letter in ZERO, instead off the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

College

A place where some pursue learning and Others learn pursuing.

Miser

A person who lives poor so that he can die Rich.

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the Notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Opportunists

One who starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river …

Conference

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present…

Compromise

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece ..

Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary

A place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference Room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Office

A place where you can relax after your sternous home life.

Ecstasy

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Diplomat

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Classic

A book which people praise, but do not read.

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