Employer’s Lingo – Employer Expectations

by roshi on December 3, 2007

in Interesting

What employers list in the application and what you should expect? Read carefully!  Some are funny but somehow true!

  • COMPETITIVE SALARY
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
  • JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM
    We have no time to train you.
  • CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE
    We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
  • MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED
    You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
  • SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED” 
    Some time each night and some time each weekend.
  • DUTIES WILL VARY
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL
    We have no quality control.
  • CAREER-MINDED
    Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
  • APPLY IN PERSON
    If you’re old, fat, or ugly or even of certain ethnic group you might be told the position has been filled.
  • NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE
    We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
  • SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE
    You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
  • PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST” 
    You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
  • REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS
    You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
  • GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
    Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

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