Universal Laws Redefined

by roshi on October 11, 2007

in Jokes

Lets redefine some universal laws. These are facts too. No lies…

  • Law of Mechanical Repair:
    After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee
  • Law of the Workshop:
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of Probability:
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  • Law of the Telephone:
    When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
  • Law of the Alibi:
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Variation Law:
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
  • Bath Theorem:
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  • Law of Close Encounters:
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
  • Law of the Result:
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
  • Law of Biomechanics:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  • Theatre Rule:
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  • Law of Coffee:
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  • Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  • Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
  • Law of Location:
    No matter where you go, there you are.
  • Law of Logical Argument:
    Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
  • Brown’s Law:
    If the shoe fits, it’s really ugly.
  • Oliver’s Law:
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • Wilson’s Law:
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
  • Law of Chinese Restaurants:
    If you are the ONLY customer sitting in a Chinese restaurant when the next person comes in the hostess will seat him/her right next to you.

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