Memorable Funny Quotes by Great Women

by roshi on October 29, 2007

in Quotes, Women

Inside every older lady is a younger lady – wondering what the hell happened. Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

  1. Inside every older lady is a younger lady – wondering what the hell happened. – Cora Harvey Armstrong
  2. Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies. Anonymous
  3. The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. – Helen Hayes (at 73)
  4. I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. – Janette Barber
  5. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. – Lily Tomlin
  6. A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. – Carrie Snow
  7. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. – Laurie Kuslansky
  8. Old age ain’t no place for sissies. – Bette Davis
  9. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. – Rhonda Hansome
  10. The phrase “working mother” is redundant. – Jane Sellman
  11. Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows. – Jennifer Unlimited
  12. Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. – Charlotte Whitton
  13. Thirty – five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. – Caryn Leschen
  14. I try to take one day at a time – – but sometimes several days attack me at once. – Jennifer Unlimited
  15. If you can’t be a good example – – then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. – Catherine
  16. When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! – Kathy Buckley
  17. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. – Roseanne Barr
  18. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. – Elayne Boosler
  19. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson
  20. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher
  21. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. – Gloria Steinem
  22. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
  23. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. – Eleanor Roosevelt

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