Memorable Funny Quotes by Great Women

1. Inside every older lady is a younger lady - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong
2. Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies. Anonymous
3. The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes (at 73)
4. I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. - Janette Barber
5. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin
6. A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
7. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. - Laurie Kuslansky
8. Old age ain’t no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
9. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. - Rhonda Hansome
10. The phrase “working mother” is redundant. - Jane Sellman
11. Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows. - Jennifer Unlimited
12. Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton
13. Thirty - five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
14. I try to take one day at a time - - but sometimes several days attack me at once. - Jennifer Unlimited
15. If you can’t be a good example - - then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine
16. When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! - Kathy Buckley
17. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr
18. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
19. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
20. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
21. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
22. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
23. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt