School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.
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To, ABC Girl
Subject: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms prey,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving his letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your other friends (girls), if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Xyz
HR Manager
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Check out this link. It is a simple mind reader. There are digits from 0 to 99 and you have to think any number in between.
i.e. 45
- Subtract 4 and 5 from 45. (Subtract each number from the whole number you thought)
- Read the answering number at the chart and see the symbol against it and click the box above.
- It will display the same symbol which was against the answer after subtraction from your number.
Mind Reader
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Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, “I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.” “I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.
The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, “I don’t smoke as it is injurious to health.”
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, “Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good”.
The beggar refused by saying, “Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver”.
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, “I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone”.
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, “Sorry sir, I can’t come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.”
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar’s face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, “Why do you want me to go to your house with you”.
The man replied, “My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like.”
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Once a sardar owned a retaurant.
A man came up to him and claimed:
“Sardar jee! There is a fly in the tea”
سردار جی۔ دودھ میں مکھی ھے۔
Sardar jee replied:
“O! Dil wadda ker yara! Oonay kinna pee leena aaay”
او دل وڈڈا کر یا را۔ اوونے کننا پی جانا اے؟
~~!!!!!!!!!!~~
Sardar goes to a restaurant and orders chicken.
Waiter: “French, Spanish or Desi?”
Sardar: “O jeera marzi laay aa! Main keera gallan kerniaan naaay.”
او جیرا مرضی لے آ۔ میں کیرا گلاں کرنیاں نیں۔
~~!!!!!!!!!!~~
1
larkay ko kia chaiya?
1 larkie jo
piyar daay.
1 larkie jo
acha khana banaye.
1 larkie jo
khoob khidmat keray.
Aor ya teenoon larkiyaan mil jul rehain.
Bus!!!
~~!!!!!!!!!!~~
A sardar was driving a jeep in jungle.
Tourist asked him: “If lion comes very close to us, then how can we escape?”
Sardar: “Its simple, Give right indicator and turn left.”
~~!!!!!!!!!!~~
3 sardar were sleeping at same bed.
One felt not enough room for him at bed and so he climbed down and rested at bare floor.
One sardar from bed called him and said. “Come on up now, its enough room now at bed.”
اوۓ اتے آ جا۔ ہن جگھ کھلی ھو گي اے۔
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Father: ‘I want you to marry a girl of my choice’
Son: ‘I will choose my own bride!’
Father: ‘But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.’
Son: ‘Well, in that case…ok’
Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: ‘I have a husband for your daughter.’
Bill Gates: ‘But my daughter is too young to marry!’
Father: ‘But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.’
Bill Gates: ‘Ah, in that case…ok’
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: ‘I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.’
President: ‘But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!’
Father: ‘But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.’
President: ‘Ah, in that case…ok’
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything..
But your attitude should be +ve..
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