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A man with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened and he answered,
“I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidently picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
“But what happened to your other ear?”
“The stupid called back.” Reply came.
He has been drinking at the pub all night. When the bar was closing, the man stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he will crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him.
Once outside, he stands up and falls flat on his face again. So he decides to crawl on four legs to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself up right but he quickly falls right into the bed and was sound asleep, as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him and shouting loudly,
“So you have been out drinking again?”
“What makes you say that?” He asks, as he puts on an innocent look.
She says,
“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again!”
It obviously annoyed her to see her husband enjoying standing next to a beautiful lady in a crowded elevator. Suddenly the blond slapped him on the face and said,
“This should teach you not to pinch girls!”
As they got off the elevator, the man said to his wife,
“But I did not pinch her!”
“I know,” said the wife, “I did.”
Father, asked the little fellow,
“If it’s polite to let women be first in everything then why did God made Adam before Eve?”
“Because, son” was the reply,
“He didn’t want any disturbances while he was making Adam.”
An elderly couple had a son living with them. The parents were worried as the son had not decided about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a 100 dollars, a bible and a bottle of whisky, and put them on the front hall table.
The father plan was,
“If the boy takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest but if he takes the bottle of whisky, I am afraid that our son will be a drunkard.”
The son left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said,
“Damn! our son is going to be a politician.”
