Memorable Funny Quotes by Great Women

1. Inside every older lady is a younger lady - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong
2. Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies. Anonymous
3. The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes (at 73)
4. I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. - Janette Barber
5. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin
6. A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
7. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. - Laurie Kuslansky
8. Old age ain’t no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
9. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. - Rhonda Hansome
10. The phrase “working mother” is redundant. - Jane Sellman
11. Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows. - Jennifer Unlimited
12. Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton
13. Thirty - five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
14. I try to take one day at a time - - but sometimes several days attack me at once. - Jennifer Unlimited
15. If you can’t be a good example - - then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine
16. When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! - Kathy Buckley
17. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr
18. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
19. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
20. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
21. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
22. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
23. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt

International Wisdom

Proverbs from around the world , Wise quotes , Collective wisdom of civilizations.

1. A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. Arab Proverb
2. A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. English Proverb
3. A broken hand works, but not a broken heart. Persian Proverb
4. A cat has nine lives. Proverb of Unknown Origin
5. A closed mouth catches no flies. Italian Proverb
6. A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs. German Proverb
7. A courtyard common to all will be swept by none. Proverb, Chinese
8. A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. Russian Proverb
9. A drink precedes a story. Irish Proverb
10. A drowning man is not troubled by rain. Persian Proverb
11. A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. William Blake Proverbs of Hell (1790)
12. A forest is in an acorn. Proverb of Unknown Origin
13. A friend in need is a friend indeed English Proverb
14. A friend’s eye is a good mirror. Irish Proverb
15. A good denial, the best point in law. Irish Proverb
16. A good husband is healthy and absent. Japanese Proverb
17. A hard beginning make a good ending. John Heywood The Proverbs of John Heywood (1546)
18. A healthy man is a successful man. French Proverb
19. A hedge between keeps friendship green. French Proverb
20. A hen is heavy when carried far. Irish Proverb
21. A hound’s food is in its legs. Irish Proverb
22. A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. Portuguese Proverb
23. A hungry man is an angry man. English Proverb
24. A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. French Proverb
25. A little too late, is much too late. German Proverb
26. A loan though old is not gift. Hungarian Proverb
27. A lock is better than suspicion. Irish Proverb
28. A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man. Turkish Proverb
29. A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal. Yiddish Proverb
30. A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink. John Heywood The Proverbs of John Heywood (1546)
31. A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity. Yiddish Proverb
32. A monkey never thinks her baby’s ugly. Haitian Proverb
33. A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners. Irish Proverb
34. A penny for your thoughts. John Heywood The Proverbs of John Heywood (1546)
35. A penny saved is a penny gained. Scottish Proverb
36. A poor beauty finds more lovers than husbands. English Proverb
37. A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. Hungarian Proverb
38. A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths. Chinese proverb
39. A silent mouth is melodious. Irish Proverb
40. A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole. Traditional Russian Saying
41. A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. Greek Proverb
42. A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger. Bible - Proverbs 151.
43. A son is a son till he gets him a wife, But a daughter’s a daughter the rest of your life. Proverb of Unknown Origin
44. A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom. Welsh Proverb
45. A table is not blessed if it has fed no scholars. Yiddish Proverb
46. A teacher is better than two books. German Proverb
47. A thief believes everybody steals. Proverb of Unknown Origin
48. A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom. Chinese proverb
49. A throne is only a bench covered with velvet. French Proverb
50. A trade not properly learned is an enemy. Irish Proverb

Crazy Facts

1. Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud.
   After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
2. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
3. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
4. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
5. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.
6. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.
7. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
8. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
9. I’m not a complete idiot, there’re still some parts missing!
10. Forgive your enemies but remember their names
11. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
12. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
13. Some pain is physical and some is mental, but one that’s both is dental.
14. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Instructions for Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone everyday.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then, when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.
14. Don’t bring up the past.
15. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
16. Be gentle with the earth.
17. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
18. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
19. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
20. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Quotes - Golden Words

In the end, our dreams are not about money, they are not about winning and they are not about fame…
In the end our dreams are about living and the choices we make.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
Life has a strange way of giving us what we expect.

All things are difficult b4 they are easy

We are what we repeatedly do.Excellence is not an act but a habit.

The Whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.

The harder you work,The luckier you get.

Beware of small expenses; A small leak will sink a great ship.

Strong reasons make strong actions.

Sometimes heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

A wise man will make more oppertunities then he finds.

Imagination is more important then knowledge; Knowledge is limited.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

Everything that u can imagine is real.

My work as a designer is a game, a very serious game.

A minute’s success pays the failure of years.

The best designer is something yet to learn.

Designer sells the design, not the technology, programming or pretty pictures.

Graphic design is not a decoration. It is a necessity.

Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice.

The only people who never fail are those who never try.

Difficulties strenthens your mind, as labour does your body.

A designer is not paid for his labour but for his vision.

Be creative by designing ordinary things in extraordinary ways.

I am not theer yet but i am closer than i was yesterdy.