Zodiac Bedtime Prayers

by roshi on April 12, 2008

in Know Thyself, Zodiacs

The 12 Signs of the Zodiac are symbols for 12 different human personality types. Each Sign has its own unique approach to life. Just for fun, let’s get a feel for their different psychologies by making up a typical “Bedtime Prayer” for each Sign.

ARIES
“Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!

TAURUS
“God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET.”

GEMINI
“Yo God…(or is it Goddess?)…
Who are you?….
What are you?…..
Where are You?…..
How many of you ARE there?
I can’t figure you out!”

CANCER
“Dear God, I know I shouldn’t depend on you so much, but you’re the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners.”

LEO
“Hi God! I’ll bet you’re really proud to have me!”

VIRGO
“Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don’t do like you did the last time.”

LIBRA
“Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?”

SCORPIO
“Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the creeps don’t deserve it.”

SAGITTARIUS
“OH ALMIGHTY,
ALL KNOWING,
ALL-LOVING,
ALL- POWERFUL,
OMNIPRESENT,
EVERLASTING GOD,
IF I’VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I’VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES — HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!”

CAPRICORN
“Dear God, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway.

AQUARIUS
“Hi God! Some say you’re this; Some say you’re that!!! I say we’re ALL God. So, why pray? Let’s have a party!”

PISCES
“Heavenly Almighty, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow,
may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory.”

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